Okay, technically, I now have TWO souls. I have the one that came with me when I was born, and I just bought a new one as well! She’s a car. A Kia Soul. I have named her Aretha, and if you don’t know why, I don’t want to be friends with you. She is 100% better than my old car, Elphaba in the following ways:
- She has no dents. Not even one. Nor scratches, dings, or upholstery stains.
- She does this amazing thing where, when I hit the go pedal, she goes, right away, even if I’m stopped, without waiting for a couple of seconds to be sure I really mean it. And similarly, when I hit the stop pedal, she slows down immediately, even if I don’t push it all the way down.
- She’s so roomy! I couldn’t even get Elphaba’s trunk open. Aretha’s got a back door, which opens onto a whole cargo area the size of the Millennium Falcon! I’ve bought groceries twice now, and each time, I’ve loaded them up with the giddiness of a teenage prankster. It’s magical. And when I took Han Smeowlo to the vet, and he got out of his crate, it took me like five minutes to catch him again in the back seat.
- She doesn’t make any kind of funky noises when I take her over 50mph, so I don’t have to compromise between not pissing off all the other drivers, and wondering exactly how long I have until my engine explodes and we all die, including those other drivers. And I can take her on the freeway!
I will say that Elphaba was better than Aretha in the following way:
- She was free.