It’s All Connected

I just sat down to write a post, and I was wavering between what I thought of as two separate topics, and then I realized that, in fact, they are the same topic: The computers are coming to get us.  If you’re a regular reader, you may recall that I’ve brought this up before and also wrote a short story about it.  It’s something I think about with startling frequency, actually.  Also, neither of these anecdotes could really fill up a whole blog post, so I decided I’d better make up a spurious connection between the two, and just do one post with both.  Here it is!

Anecdote Number 1:

I recently cut my hair from chin length to pixie, which is something I do every couple of years, when I get tired to dealing with hair that needs more than just a two-second brush-out in the morning.  I typically maintain it for two to three months and then I get tired of always having to get it cut and decide that longer hair is less work, and I grow it out, and the cycle begins anew.

Anyway, so I got my hair cut like a week ago, but (and this is important) I didn’t say anything about it to anyone.  I mean, people I interact with in person saw it, and commented on it, of course, but I didn’t text anyone or post about it on Facebook.  And yet, a couple of days later, Facebook stopped showing me the general non-sexuality-specific ads for dating apps, and started showing me ads for Lesbian dating sites.  Somehow, they knew I had cut my hair, and, based on incorrect stereotypes, assumed I was gay.  THE COMPUTERS ARE WATCHING US.  And they’re a bit judgy.

Anecdote Number 2:

I’ve been spending a lot of time outside, because it’s summer, and that’s what I do.  This means I have gotten some mosquito bites, and for some reason, this year, they all seem to be on my back.  It’s very uncomfortable, especially the ones that are out of my reach.  But the worst one I have is right at the base of my neck, exactly where the humans in The Matrix had their ports that connected them to the robots.  Obviously, the only explanation for this is that we really do live in The Matrix, and I have subconsciously begun to recognize that I have a port right there, but my brain is easing me into this knowledge by manifesting something else in that spot.  I’m just waiting for the day I wake up in a vat of some kind of disgusting viscus liquid and have to start fighting robots.   On the plus side, though, I’ll get to download the Kung Fu knowledge.