Need a writer? I’m a writer! This is such a fantastic coincidence! I am available for hire right now for such exciting projects as bio blurbs, flash fiction about you and your friends, greeting cards, and guest blog posts. I do my best work if I can be a little silly, but I can toooooootally be serious too, if that’s what you need. Shoot me an email, or head over to my contact page and fill out the handy little form, and we’ll get started!
Bio Blurbs (up to 300 words) $20 – This is something I’m really good at. I know you hate writing about yourself, and most people just don’t even know where to start. This can be for anything at all – your company website, a social media profile, a dating profile, the recruitment cards you hand out for your cult. . . . The sky’s the limit! And, yes, I can do a professional blurb without getting silly.
Flash Fiction (up to 500 words) $10 – These make fantastic gifts! You pick the characters – it can be you and your friends or family, or just a group of your friends, or your friend and their family, or your friend’s kids. Anyone. And I’ll write a silly little story about them, kind of like this one.
For another $10, I’ll find some stock photos online, and format it into an adorable printable mini-book for you!
Custom Greeting Cards (up to 25 words) $7 – Can’t find the exact greeting card you need for your specific situation? Maybe you need a card that conveys to your dear friend that you’re glad she’s having a twelfth baby, but that this should be the last one. Or a Welcome Back From Prison card for your uncle. Whatever the situation is, spell it out for me, and I’ll write you a sentiment for it. Please note that you’re not getting a physical card in the mail here – what I’ll do is write the perfect phrase, find an awesome picture to put on the front, and format it for you to print out. You’re in charge of getting pretty paper for it and making sure there’s enough ink in your printer.
Guest Blog Posts (up to 1,000 words) $25 – Have a blog, and want to inject a little bit of humorous writing into it? I don’t do serious blog posts. There are enough people out there offering that, and it’s just not my strong suit. But if you want someone to write a ridiculous post that will have your audience cracking up, I’m your gal. Like many writers, I have held down a lot of different jobs in my life, gone “back to school” a couple of times (plus the first time), and acquired a rather large knowledge base. I can write you a post about any of the following topics:
* Tea * Herbal medicine * Coffee/espresso * Nutrition * Massage therapy * Theatre/Film * Pop culture * English and Grammar * Reiki or Pranic Healing * Food/Cooking * Booze/Bartending * Managing depression or anxiety * Eco-living